Friday, November 09, 2007
Uni life has been pretty busy lately..
I have to commute from Newcastle to London these few weeks for some important matters..
but despite that,
I managed to squeeze in the time to read the book "There's Only One David Beckham"
The book basically revolves around life as David Beckham and his biography..
However, inside the book, there are several jokes that I want to share with my blog readers:
1.David Beckham walks up to a Coke machine in a casino, puts some coins in and out pops a can of Coke. He puts some more coins into the machine and out pops a Lilt. He put more coins in and out pops an Iced Tea. Then a man walks up behind him and says, "Can I use that machine,please?" David replies, "Go away! Can't you see I'm winning every time?"
2.David goes to the hairdresser wearing earphones and carrying his own personal CD. "I'm sorry, Sir," says the hairdresser,"But you will have to take those headphones off for me to cut you hair." "No, no you can't," says David. "It's a matter of life and death." So the hairdresser is forced to cut round the headphones a until curiosity gets the better if her and she gently lifts one earpiece so she can hear what David is listening to. She hears a voice repeating over and over again:"Breathe in, breathe out."
3.When David Beckham went shopping, he spotted something he had never seen before. He asked the assistant in the kitchen department what it was and he replied, "It's a thermos flask, Mr.Beckham." "What does it do?" asked David. The assistant explained: "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." David liked the sound of that, so he bought one. He took it with him to the next training session and proudly holding up his new thermos flask. The lads are impressed but they ask: "What does it do, David?" "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." says David. "And what have you got in it?" asks skipper Roy Keane. David Beckham replies enthusiastically, "Two cups of coffee and a choc ice.
4.David Beckham is going to a shopping trip to Paris. He gets on the plane and walks straight through the curtains and sits down in first class. He puts his hand luggage into the overhead compartment and sits down. The stewardess approaches him nervously and points out that he has only got ab economy class ticket yet he is sitting in first class. David stands up and snorts indignantly, "Don't you know who I am?" and is clearly unwilling to move. The stewardess looks anxiously around and another passenger quietly approaches her with the words, "Perhaps I can help. I am a psychiatrist." "Oh,thank you, Sir," says the stewardess. The psychiatrist whispers something in David's ear. David instantly leaps up, grabs his hand luggage and walks back towards economy class. The stewardess watches in rapt admiration. "That was fantastic," she exclaims, "you must be a brilliant psychiatrist." "Not really," says the man. "I just told him that first class wasn't going to Paris."
5.David Beckham, Paul Scholes and Roy Keane are trapped on the second storey of a burning building. They rush onto the balcony and see fireman down below holding a blanket for them. "Jump, jump" they shout to Keane. He leaps off the balcony and at the last minute the firemen whip away the blanket and Keane smashes into the pavement as the firemen fall about laughing. Then it is Scholes' turn. He hesitates but the firemen encourage him it will be all right and hold the blanket up again. Scholes jump and the firemen do it again. They whip away the blanket and roar with laughter as Scholes goes splat on the concrete. The firemen hold up the blanket to Beckham, who has watched all this in horror as flames lick at his heels. The firemen encourage Beckham to jump, but he says, "I'm not jumping down there. If I do, you'll whip away the blanket." "No, we won't" say the firemen. "I don't trust you," says Beckham. "Really, we won't do it to you," say the firemen. David says, "All right. But I don't trust you. I will jump into the blanket on one condition. You put the blanket down and step 10 yards away from it and put your hands behind you backs."
End of story and hope you enjoy the jokes..Hehehehhe..
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to (countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
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